Terrible news for children around the world as Santa Claus has been left infuriated after Qantas lost his toy sack in transit.
The devastating news has meant that Santa has been forced to cancel Christmas, a move inspired by Qantas’ cancellation of roughly half their flights this year.
“I should have just gone with the reindeers,” said Santa while waiting in the customer service line, “first my flight was 2 hours late and now they lost my toy sack in transit. Don’t they realise that some people have places to be? Santa’s meant to be going to every house on the planet right now!”
“I assumed it would be ok since I always do things with magic, but I guess even the Christmas magic that helps the reindeer fly wasn’t enough for getting Qantas to actually leave on time and remember to take the bags. Some Christmas miracles are just too outlandish.”
In response, Santa has edited the infamous ‘naughty’ list to make sure that all Qantas executives who gave themselves bonuses this year are written in permanent ink.