Bruce Lehrmann agrees to pay hundreds of dollars for Peter FitzSimons oat matcha lattés during trial period

Defamation loss enthusiast Bruce Lehrmann has agreed to pay author Peter FitzSimons $685 to cover his “reasonable caffeination expense” in regard to consumption during the defamation action against Ten and journalist Lisa Wilkinson.

“I understand why I need to pay this,” said Lehrmann, “I mean I am no stranger to stimulants myself.”

“At least it’s just coffee though, the cost of baggies these days is nuts. The cost of living crisis really hit Channel 7’s back pocket.”

Legal experts have said that being forced to pay reasonable expenses to someone who has been subpoenaed to testify, however economists are concerned about what is covered out of fear that the cost of FitzSimons’ bandanas is enough to bankrupt a small country.