General News
Alan Jones shifts to new platform of yelling opinions at strangers in the supermarket

Tech wiz and common sense machine Alan Jones has announced he is transitioning out of the mainstream media to his new platform of screaming his opinions at unsuspecting shoppers.

Jones, who was sacked from Sky News earlier this year, has accused his former network of cancelling him for his conservative views with Sky having banished all of its conservative commentators, with the exception of Andrew Bolt, Peta Credlin, Sharri Markson, Rowan Dean, Chris “no nickname” Kenny, Rita Panahi, Paul Murray and everyone else on Sky.

Jones’ new public ranting platform has the potential to reach tens of people at any one time, quadrupling his previous TV audience at Sky News.

“I don’t know what’s going on! I was just bombarded by a man screaming at me about cancel culture in aisle 7,” said one Woolies shopper and big fan.

“All I wanted was to pick up some milk!”


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