Serial puppy drowner joins next season of MAFS

Local serial puppy murderer Gregory Smith has been announced as one of the men on the next season of Married at First Sight.

Leaks suggest that Smith will be paired up with a woman who runs a dog shelter, because the producers think they will be the ‘best fit’ for each other, content wise.

“I’m excited to show people there is more to me than my hobbies,” said Smith in an interview that legally had to be held over 500 metres away from his ex, “I’m just a regular masculine guy who wakes up and drowns his puppies one bag at a time.”

“I can’t wait to meet my future wife and have her do everything I say. I also think we should have an open relationship, but the kind where she isn’t allowed to sleep with anyone else.”

“The show is a social experiment designed to start conversations” said a Channel 9 representative, “testing just how many Aussies will hate watch a show with genuine monsters on it, and how many of them is considered enough for our advertisers to keep supporting us.”

The other men booked for the next season includes a bloke with a podcast about how HR departments are ‘woke nonsense’, a man who swears all his exes are ‘crazy’ and a guy who double parks his Tesla in disabled spots.