Business
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Business
Telstra reassures customers that staff cuts won’t affect trademark 4 hour hold times
“I give you this promise Australia, no matter how many people we mercilessly fire to protect our profits and bonuses, you won’t notice anything different.”
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Business
Woolies CEO Brad Banducci asks if embarrassing retirement announcement can be taken off the record
“You’re not going to use that right?”
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Business
“I don’t get why responding to emails after work would be a hassle, just have your assistant do it” says local executive in exclusive interview
We speak to a local millionaire executive in an exclusive interview about the proposed changes to employment law.
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Business
Jetstar introduces “door stays on” fee
Oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling if no door is paid for (oxygen sold separately)
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Business
Woolworths announces public executions for holiday season shoplifters
Australia’s number one grocery prison has announced a brand new policy stating that loss prevention officers will be granted license to shoot any suspected shoplifter on sight. “Do you think this is a fucking joke?” sprayed a nameless executive wearing a balaclava at a press conference. “We put in the security gates, the guards, the…
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Business
Optus CEO resigned three weeks ago but was unable to contact the board
“Instead of waiting for the network to work, I just used carrier pigeons.”
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Business
Qantas loses voice referendum in transit
“I knew Yes should have chosen a different airline”
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Business
Woman kneecapped after attempting tampon-onion swap in Woolies self-checkout
Woolworths security has been praised for exercising sensible restraint
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Business
Coles launches drone strike against shopper who didn’t pay for grape
“The drone has instantly reduced shoplifting in the area to 0%”