Trump offers Russell Brand the Press Secretary role

US President Donald Trump has announced that his next Press Secretary will be fuckwit rapist Russell Brand.

“Russell is a friend of mine and an incredible speaker,” said Trump, “he will fit right in with us.”

“His ability to use lots of words to say nothing is impressive. Many say he is one of the best at it, not as good as myself, the greatest talker of all time, a lot of people say I’m the greatest talker. Russell knows a lot of words, a lot of words, but so do I.”

Trump later rescinded the offer when he found out that Russell is the kind of rich sex offender who fails to stay out of prison.