Trump cancels execution livestream, world spared from horror of watching Trump host a show

Following international backlash, President Trump has cancelled his upcoming livestream of a firing squad execution, leaving many relieved that they won’t have to witness the sight of him trying to host a show.

“Any act like that is inhumane,” said human rights lawyers, “no one should have to endure Trump reading from a teleprompter.”

“We have all avoided experiencing something truly traumatic.”

“The work isn’t done, but it is a start. We don’t want a repeat of his time on SNL or worse, his roast.”