King Charles offers Andrew a free driving tour of Paris’ tunnels

Former Prince and man who formerly was ‘unable to sweat’, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has been kicked out of his Royal Palace, in what is the closest thing consequences that any of Epstein’s alleged clients have faced.

While the generationally wealthy creep is stuck trying to find a new place to hide from the FBI, King Charles has offered his brother an olive branch in the form of a driving tour around Paris and it’s tunnels.

“We really hope he takes us up on the offer,” said a representative for the family, “it would be amazing to get him out of hair for good… I mean for a while. It’s also, a fantastic opportunity for the paparazzi to do what they do ‘best’.”

“We understand that we should have done a less to protect him from police scrutiny, but you see we were too busy trying to get that monster Meghan to take a Paris tunnel ride instead.”

“Why drive through busy Paris instead of the famously relaxing French countryside? Umm… well we know from the flight logs that he has spent a lot of time in outdoor locations where he cant be trusted. So we thought this could be a nice change of pace for him. A quick pace then maybe a sudden stop of pace.”