Advertisers beg Starc to at least let the test matches last 4 days

The Ashes have started with a bang as legend Mitchell Starc has been determined to knock off work early.

He has tried to achieve this by fucking dominating England in the opening innings.

This has led to some frustration however, as advertisers on the Ashes have reportedly begged him to slow up a little so they can at least have their ads running for four days.

“We pay a lot of money to be shown here,” said one anonymous sponsor, “and sure everyone at home will be trilled to watch England get demolished, they wont even get time to to buy our products in celebration. That’s what cricket is meant to be all about.”

Meanwhile Australian fans are thrilled that we won’t have to spend five days with 7’s coverage.