Productivity reaches all-time low as nation’s Swifties pretend to be working

Economists have begun panicking as workplace productivity has suddenly plummeted around the country as Taylor Swift fans spend the day pretending to work.

This comes after shock news that Taylor Swift is releasing a new album ‘The Life of a Showgirl’, which she plans to give more information on in an upcoming appearance on the Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend podcast.

“There’s too much to do today,” said local coworker Ellie, “I had to check social media for theories about the podcast episode, then I needed to sit and watch the countdown clock tick down, before the panicked moment of needing to pre-order the album.”

“Now that I’ve done all that, I can get back to work and by that I mean theorise what the album will be about while mentally preparing to listen to a man’s podcast.”

Experts have urged governments to prepare for the potential economic collapse that will come when Swifties around the world suddenly get ‘too sick to come in to work’ the day the album drops, and possibly the following few days.