Greenland pauses nuclear programme

Leaked reports from Greenland have found they have sent a memo pausing anything involving ‘nuclear’ anything moving forward.

“We are dealing with someone who spooks easily,” said one official, “nuclear energy, nuclear bombs, new clear glasses; anything that sounds remotely ‘nuclear’ needs to be shut down immediately.”

“We don’t know how long until he realises that we aren’t the country with all the grassland, but until he does we need to remain vigilant.”