Wong responds to Israel starving thousands of children by dropping the ‘kind’ from ‘kind regards’ at the end of her letters

As reports from the UN warn that 14,000 babies in Palestine may die to due starvation in just 48 hours, the Australian government has taken their strongest stance yet by threatening to withdraw all “kind regards” lines from future communications with their “friend” Israel.

This comes as Foreign Affairs Minister Penny Wong put out the following letter:

“Australia is gravely concerned by the reports of *insert report here* coming out of the Middle East.”

“The Australian government stands strongly against any unintended causalities, whether that be civilians or our approval rating.”

“Australia is willing to help with some hypothetical aid if the aid decides to stop being blocked. Something we have made clear by not including ‘Hope this email finds you well’ in our latest partnership negotiations.”

“We think all life is valuable and all concern levels should be met moving forward. That is why we call upon our allies to do better, and if they don’t… that’s totally fine. Up to them.”

Prime Minister Albanese took things a step further by saying he is open to sanctioning anyone who emails Labor politicians asking them to sanction Israel.