Morals indefinitely suspended from Labor Party caucus meetings

The Labor Party have announced they will not be banning morals from the party due to optics reasons, however they will be suspending morals indefinitely from all caucus meetings.

This comes after morals convinced WA Senator Fatima Payman to cross floor against the Labor Party by voting in line with the party’s official policy platform regarding recognising the existence of Palestine when every other Labor politician chose to vote against the party’s charter.

“It’s sad that has come to this,” said the prime minister, “but we can not stand by and continue to let morality make us look bad in comparison. This punishment is not designed to say that morals have no place in the party, more that they need to learn their place and bend under the weight of my thumb.”

“Morals are nothing more than a distraction, causing us to talk about the bad things that my government is involved with. We all know what is really important in politics is praising us and never questioning my decisions.”

Foreign Affairs Minister Penny Wong has also slammed morals in a recent interview on Sky News, the home of where morals die.

“If I can vote against same sex marriage, morals can learn to be completely spineless too. There are serious consequences to choosing not to harm communities, the worst kind of consequences too, the ones that hurt my political self-interest. This is not what our senators are meant to do.”