“We will protect Americans from Immigrants by killing as many Americans as possible” – ICE

Support group for losers whose sleep paralysis demon is just a normal therapist, ICE has put out a statement telling Americans they will ‘protect them or else’.

This comes as many Americans have taken to the streets to say that they don’t find it ‘heroic’ for masked racists to walk around with rifles attacking random people on the street.

“We live in incredibly dangerous times,” said an ICE representative after calling for a firing squad on a random family for not bowing in his presence, “we have had to get increasingly pre-emptive in our self-defence.”

“We don’t officially want to just go around killing American families, but it’s the only way to shield our them from the danger of a random immigrant just peacefully going about their day”

“We are willing to resort to that extreme if we have to, or want to, or are too lazy to go around the family, or if the sight of a happy family makes our agents made since their families wont talk to them.”