US Supreme Court rules that only the president is allowed to get an abortion

In the worst way to start any news story this decade, the US Supreme court has made yet another ruling.

Their latest ruling is that the President of the United States now has special ‘immunity’ from criminal charges meaning they are allowed to commit crimes like inciting an insurrection, assassinating political opponents, or even just getting an abortion in many states.

“The right to an abortion must be protected,” said one of the judges, “as long as the person with that right is Donald Trump or any other republican president.”

“No one who actually has a uterus should be allowed to make that choice for themselves, but luckily at this point we doubt one will ever become president.”