Scott Morrison’s former empathy consultant has come out of early trauma related retirement to desperately try and call AUKUS lobbyist Anthony Albanese over his response to Palestinians being carpet bombed in Gaza.
“Call me back you monster,” said the empathy consultant while leaving a voicemail for the PM, “You were meant to be the choice who possessed empathy. Wasn’t that the whole point of the election?”
“I need to get on to you to talk about the people who are currently dying while you turn a blind eye. Better yet, is there any way I can speak to the old Albo from 30 years ago?”
“I bet you would have no problem showing concern for the safety of Palestinian children if we started saying they were part of the military industrial complex.”
Concerned doctors have asked the public to protect the empathy consultant from the news of the joint statement by 6 former PMs that fully back the war crimes against Palestinians, saying that the news may give someone who’s job it is to teach basic human empathy a stress induced stroke.
“The risk with the statement isn’t just the message, but also how poorly written it is. Trying to make sense of it poses a serious threat to people’s brains. I mean they couldn’t even spell Scott Morrison correctly and he was one of the people involved.”
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