Royal family condemns Meghan Markle for not handing in Andrew sooner

King Charles has spoken out following the arrest of Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, with the King strongly condemning Meghan Markle for not handing in the former prince sooner.

“I understand that the news has today has hurt the reputation of my family for many,” said the King, “and that is why I am extremely disappointed in the actions of my daughter-in-law for allowing it to go on this long. When will her attacks on this family end?”

“Poor Andrew, I mean for this to happen on his birthday. How could she allow this cruelty to happen?”

“All of this is her fault, she is solely to blame for all of this, the monster.”

Following the announcement, royal correspondents at tabloids around the world have gone all in to focus all their coverage on a leak from a source within the palace talking about an incident wherein Meghan Markle allegedly didn’t say ‘bless you’ after someone sneezed.