“I don’t want to be looking at anywhere near 25 years, that’s way too old” Andrew tells his lawyers

Former-Prince Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has reportedly been left feeling disgusted after being told by his lawyers that he is being made to ‘look at’ potentially up to 25 years, which Andrew says is “way too old” for him.

The lawyers calmed Andrew down by saying that between his age and the normal lengths of ‘life’ in UK sentencing, they can likely negotiate down to under 18 years.

Things then got worse for the alleged pedophile when the lawyers asked, “wait you realise that we are talking about prison sentences right?”

“Life in prison over some emails? Are you kidding me? Speaking of kidding, I could really use a massage right now, which just reminds me that Jeff is gone. This is the worst birthday ever.”