Hamas launches ‘completely unprovoked attack’ *(if you ignore 50 years of occupation)

Shocking news coming out Gaza as Hamas launched a series of attacks over the weekend against Israel that were completely unprovoked (as long as you completely ignore the 50 years of occupation).

“This is a completely surprising turn of events,” said one ‘expert’ while talking to every media outlet, “if you just put the 75 years or so of violence aside, you have to wonder what could have possibly lead to such violence?”

“You know sure there has been decades of air strikes, war crimes, human rights abuses, cutting off water supplies, attacking journalists, trapping Palestinians in a giant open-air prison and much more over the long occupation, but on the specific day of the attack, the Israeli government hadn’t done anything.”

“Palestinians should have simply tried peaceful means of standing up to the Israeli government. Like boycotting their products only to have international media condemn the boycotts or peaceful protests, like they did earlier in the week that resulted in them somehow having bullet wounds. Someone should try and figure out how Palestinians keep developing a bad case of bullets.”

“I know, have they considered making a hashtag?”


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