Failing corporation promotes qualified woman to top job

International conglomerate ‘The Democrat Campaign” has announced it’s CEO will be standing down over concerns it won’t make the next fiscal year and has promoted a woman to take all of the blame.

“We learned watching Woolworths in Australia that just one bad TV appearance can spell doom for a company so we decided to follow what they did and promote a hardworking competent woman to be in charge so we can all blame her for the company that’s failing.”

Outgoing CEO, Joe Biden plans to give a moving exit speech, following sacred traditions of pretending resigning was his idea in the first place. “I asked God for a sign if I should keep being president and I started hearing that I should step down wherever I went.”

“Like any good CEO, I am stepping down right before I can get blamed for any of the directions we went in or any of the consequences of doing so, and I’m throwing my full weight behind setting her up to take all the blame if we lose.”

“I also plan to remain in the job until the last possible second and take credit for as much as possible”.