Conservatives combat their low youth vote by demanding young voters die in war

British Prime Minister (at time of writing) Rishi Sunak has made a fool proof plan to combat his party’s lack of support amongst Gen Z voters by simply demanding that these voters be forced to go die in war.

“These young people are too privileged,” said the man who is worth over half a billion pounds thanks to his wife’s wealth, “they are all disconnected from the realities of Britain today.”

“Most young people are so out of touch that they don’t even know the struggle of when your servant brings the wrong caviar, but from what I gather being going to war is the next worst thing, so they should do that instead to learn some perspective.”

“I mean if we lose a few of these people who probably will never vote for us, that is a sacrifice I am willing to make for the good of the economy. One less mouth for me to not feed. Now who’s with me?”

In response to this proposal, journalists at right wing media outlets around the world have begun demanding mandatory national service in their countries to ‘teach young people about the value of hard work’, from the comfort of the apartment their parents bought them as to avoid having to ‘slum it’ by talking to a member of the ‘unwashed masses’.

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