evergreen
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General News
Man now regretting whacky email address
[Edition 54] ADELAIDE, Friday: A 28-year-old Adelaide man is beginning to regret the humorous name he selected for his Hotmail email account. He said the address sex_stud99@hotmail.com is causing him increasing embarrassment. “I use my Hotmail address for work quite a bit,” he said. “And, yeah, I do get some funny looks from subcontractors and…
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General News
Woman still not finished ham from last year’s Xmas
[Edition 47] ADELAIDE, Thursday: An Adelaide housewife plans to serve last year’s Christmas ham again, hopeful that none of her Yuletide guests will notice it’s a 12-month-old leftover. The woman said she’s had great difficulty using the old ham up, despite her disciplined daily rigmarole of ham sandwiches. She said she’s even been adding ham…
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General News
Woman unsure how to categorise relationship on census
[Edition 44] MELBOURNE, Tuesday: A 31-year-old woman has had difficulty classifying her relationship with her boyfriend on the census form. The woman said the pair had been dating for four months, and had casually discussed the possibility of moving in together. But she said it was probably too early to call themselves de facto. Similarly…
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General News
Addict stops using smack after talk with parents
“We called our son into the living room, sat him down and suggested that he stop using heroin. He said ‘ok’, and that was it. Problem solved.”
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National
Nitschke’s euthanasia ship hits iceberg, delights passengers
[Edition 37] DARWIN, Monday: Euthanasia fanatic Dr Philip Nitschke has claimed that his new cruise ship will become the new choice for aged travel. Nitschke has released plans to purchase a Dutch ship which will be able to legally carry out euthanasia in international waters as soon as the Netherlands parliament legalises euthanasia. Nitschke claims…