Prime Minister and political equivalent of a kid who sits alone at lunch time, Scott Morrison has urged other world leaders to remember that it is not politicians who should be deciding what is best to fight climate change, it should be scientists. This moments before Morrison showed the other leaders his favourite lump of coal.
“None of us are experts on this matter,” Morrison yelled directly over the top of scientists, “and we must hear out the experts. If we don’t listen to them, how else can we properly ignore them?”
“It is the scientists who are the most passionate and knowledgeable about this and I understand that. I feel the exact same way about my fossil fuel donators, I would do anything for them and oh boy do I plan to. I am all for helping mother earth, but not at the expense of daddy coal bucks.”
“We need to be smart about this. We can’t risk wasting money on unproven technology, we need to be investing in carbon capture which has definitive proof, even if the proof is that it doesn’t work. And we can’t just move on from coal and gas, that would kill Australia’s economy and I do mean we. Please stop you guys, you are really hurting our economy right now. Why would you do this to me?”
