‘Unlike Albo, I don’t pretend to be anyone else’ says hairdresser Scott Morrison


Hairdresser and part-time welder Scott Morrison has today slammed Labor Leader Anthony Albanese of pretending to be someone he isn’t, before throwing on a high-vis and hard hat and pretending to mop a basketball court. “Albanese is trying to trick you into thinking he’s something he’s not,” said the PM in between welding blasts. “He is a complete fraud, I bet he doesn’t even know how to put together a Bunnings cubby house.” “I, however, am the same man I have always been. Whether I am taking photos as a tradie, joining the Australian cricket team, playing the ukulele, or washing a woman’s hair, I am always the same. Nobody around here is thinking I’m pretending to be Prime Minister or something.” “Wait, what do you mean I am the Prime Minister!?”

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