Scott Morrison announces Australia’s borders are always open to white refugees

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has made a powerful statement today, reassuring Ukrainian citizens that Australia’s borders are always open to any white refugee who needs to flee their home country. The PM, who has previously awarded himself a trophy to celebrate his work stopping refugee boats from war-torn middle-eastern nations, has told the world that he is will to take white refugees from war-torn European nations by the boatload. “We are willing to accept refugees with open arms,” said the PM, “if you need our help, we don’t care what country you are from, as long as the country is predominately white.” “We have boundless planes to share. From our quarantine hotels to our offshore detention centres, we’ve plenty of space to spare.” “The best part is we have an election coming up, so if it looks like we’re trailing in the polls we can just call you all terrorists and threaten to kick you out again,” explained Morrison. “Wait sorry, I think I got my cabinet notes mixed up with my speech notes. Disregard that part.”

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