Politicians furious after learning that sex workers are visiting a few disabled people instead of the prayer room

NDIS Minister Bill Shorten has announced that a handful of NDIS recipients have received sex therapy and that he wants the power to ban this type of assistance. The news left politicians from across the aisle outraged as the medical practice of sex therapy means that there are sex workers out there who aren’t currently in the parliamentary prayer room.

“Look I get that the prayer room is not accessible to disabled individuals,” said one politician who begged to remain anonymous, “but they should save some money by doing what the rest of us do for sexual help: get a junior staffer to lend a hand.”

Shorten made his announcement as the latest political stunt to try push through his controversial NDIS reform bill, after last week’s strategy of getting Pauline Hanson to endorse his proposed reforms shockingly didn’t stop disability advocacy groups and the government’s own human rights committee from criticising the bill.

“We need to be sensible with this money,” said the man who charged Services Australia hundreds of thousands of dollars for his personal speech writer, “and the best way to do that is ignore experts.”

“Currently it is far too easy to access sex therapy on the NDIS. All you need is multiple rounds of doctor recommendations, a therapy plan and nonstop Services Australia approvals. We’re basically giving it away to the few people who actually get it.”

“This is not what the NDIS is for, it is for getting me good headlines.”