PM announces ‘BlameSeeker’ program to find who screwed up our Covid response

Prime Minister Scott Morrison stepped up to address the country’s lackluster response to the covid outbreak, by announcing a program designed to point the blame for covid away from himself. In a press conference earlier today, the PM announced a new program he has dubbed ‘BlameSeeker’ which will seek out potential individuals and groups who are likely to blame for Morrison’s failures. “Like all our covid responses so far, we are excited today to announce a plan and then do nothing to follow through with it,” said the PM today while browsing holiday deals on his phone, “thanks to BlameSeeker we can finally figure out where our gold standard plan went so wrong. Not pointing fingers, but I’m guessing it had something to do with Dan Andrews.” In response to this unexpected announcement, state leaders have come out and clarified there has been no plan for an actual rollout of BlameSeeker, no new doses of blame to seek out, and no guidelines for the seekers to properly attribute blame safely. Morrison said he has already launched an investigation into this stuff-up, and will he will be coming down hard on anyone he can shift the blame to.

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