After suffering a humiliating loss in the Queensland elections that was extremely satisfying to watch, Pauline Hanson’s One Nation party have partially blamed the crushing defeat on the ABC for not having Pauline on enough to talk about her thoughts surrounding issues. “I have barely ever appeared as a guest on the ABC’s shows” complained Pauline, “ever since my boycott against appearing on ABC programs began in 2017 they’ve refused to have me on.”

“This is flat out discrimination and I will not stand for it!” said the outspoken racist, “the ABC are complicit in the destruction of Australia by not having me appear on shows that I refuse to appear on. What is stopping them from having me on? It’s an un-Australian disgrace if you ask me.”

“If they had me on more, the ABC audience will be able to hear what I think about every issue, that would surely help me in my campaigns. They’d see I stand by my convictions, just like my conviction to not appear on the network that again doesn’t have me on enough.”

In response to her fake-tear fuelled rant, producers for Channel 7’s Sunrise have spoken out in support of Pauline saying, “It’s ok Pauline, we still love you. You will always have a home here, no matter what you do. You are a much needed and clearly very popular voice in Australia so we are happy to hear your opinions, then pretend to be shocked by them despite clearly agreeing with them, then pretending to be upset until you are back again. Yay Pauline!”