Liberal Party hoping to fuck the planet harder than they fucked their chances at the next election

The Liberal Party have announced that they have ditched support for net zero emissions by 2050, in a bid to fuck the planet almost as hard as they fuck their chances at re-election.

“Some of the criticisms of our party when Morrison lost his election, then Dutton lost his election, was focused around us not doing enough on climate change,” said soon to be outgoing leader Sussan Ley, “so the best way for us to win is to make them look like climate heroes by comparison.”

“Polling shows that under 1/3 of voters support this idea, which might sound low, but it is way more popular than we are so we have to commit to it.”

“Outside the polling we have heard from everyday Aussies who say this is desperately needed. Like lobby groups for the fossil fuel companies, media outlets funded by fossil fuel companies, and of course the fossil fuel executives struggling to buy enough caviar for their super yacht parties because of net zero policies.”

The party denied completely abandoning everything net zero related, saying they are still on track for net zero election wins by 2050.