Dutton says nuclear plants will be ready in just 10 years* (*depending on the carparks)

Opposition Leader and Fern Gully villain Peter Dutton announced that if elected, he will provide nuclear power plants to Australia in just 10 short years, pending council zoning for the onsite parking.

“We’re pretty confident in our ability to deliver Australia’s most significant energy transition in history but we’ve always had real issues getting the parking sorted”.

Mr Dutton today outlined a plan to tackle climate change that involved mining gas for another ten years and building large power plants that might poison or vaporise everyone if built shoddily.

“Thanks mostly to me, we’re never going to reach our Paris Agreement targets so it’s a lot better if we just move those goalposts past the point of when I won’t be in politics anymore”.

Mr Dutton set the estimated completion time of the project between 2035 and 2055 depending on if the car parks got built in flood prone areas.

“I’m confident that we’ll have full cooperation from the state governments and I’m willing to pay up to $100k per car space in federal funding if it means I can actually get something off the ground for once”. 

“Honestly! You try dealing with Wilson Parking, I guarantee it’s harder than building a nuclear reactor”.