AUKUS subs to be used to protect Aussie journos from American police – PM says

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has reassured the nation that the AUKUS deal will be going ahead, saying that it will be worth all the money once the subs start protecting our journalists from the growing threat of American police.

This comes after an Australian journalist was shot by an American police officer and another was tear gassed, which the PM says wont be a problem anymore if the submarine’s arrive.

“We need AUKUS now more than ever,” said the PM, “the threat of American police is real and growing, as they get more and more military equipment, we should too.”

“That is why we should put our blind trust in America to help us protect us from them.”

Update: Upon hearing the news that the submarines may be used to protect Australia citizens, the US has begun a review of the deal.