Albanese prepares letter asking ‘good friend’ to “pretty please consider maybe not killing more Aussie humanitarian workers”

Following reports that the IDF has killed an Australian delivering humanitarian aid in Palestine, Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has announced that he will prepare a letter to his ‘good friend’ Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu asking him to “pretty please consider maybe not killing more Aussie humanitarian workers”.

A leaked version of the letter has been given to The Chaser:

“Hey best buddy,”

“So I am hearing that you killed an Australian citizen trying to help those in need, could you maybe consider not doing that please? If it’s not too much to ask.”

“I’ve been fine with looking the other way when you were killing refugees, children, teachers, doctors, journalists and other aid workers. But with this one it is a bit harder to defend to the media my not doing anything to deter you.”

“I’m not mad, just a little disappointed. So could you maybe just do it as a favour to your favourite pal? Not Joe, the other one.”

“Cheers, Anthony Albanese (the one that sends over the weapons parts).”

In response to the letter, Penny Wong has put out a statement adding ‘sending letters calling for no more killing of Australian aid workers’ to the growing list of things the Labor government ‘has always stood against’.

“Please don’t google whether we have always had these stances,” said Wong, “just trust that we always have been on the right side of history. Why would anyone want to fact check that?”

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