Abbott denies making himself Minister for Women was misogynistic: ‘I did more for women than they could ever do’

After a week of multiple embarrassing interviews where MPs awkwardly try to avoid answering the question “Why would you want a Homophobic misogynist representing Britain?”, some male Tory MPs have finally formulated a defence.

“I think these women need to listen up and learn what a misogynist is,” said the male MP, “Tony Abbott loves women, he couldn’t possibly be sexist. He has married one and fathered some more, therefore it is impossible for him to think less of women.”

“He even appointed himself Minister for Women, a misogynist would have put a woman in charge knowing that women aren’t good at anything outside of, say, doing the ironing. By putting a man in charge, he did more for women than a woman could ever do, they just don’t realise that cause these feminists won’t listen to us men when we explain that to them.”

“When Tony said ‘what the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing’ he wasn’t being sexist. He was just trying to relate to the women of Australia and explain something to them in a way their brains could understand. Also, he said ironing, proving he understands women are good for more than just being in the kitchen, they can do that too. As Minister for Women, he was showing women they can do whatever they want, as long as a man gives them permission first and tells them how to do it. He is the opposite of sexist.”

In response to the interview, women around the world have told the MP to “Shut the fuck up! Just actually shut up and never talk again, I don’t need your shit right now. I have way too much to deal with as a woman, to have the energy to deal with some dickhead like you or Tony Abbott.”