Australian media companies have continued their investigation into discovering who is to blame for the growing reluctance to vaccines in Australia after research showed an alarming 29% of Australians would turn down a Covid-19 vaccine if it was offered to them. This rise is due to a perceived risk of blood clotting which experts say is majorly overblown, leading the media to ask “who is causing this irrational fear of a vaccine that CAUSES DEADLY BLOOD CLOTS DESIGNED TO MURDER YOU AND YOUR FAMILY?”

Aussie media outlets when covering the ‘risk’ have quoted experts saying that so far the risk of blood clotting was ‘as expected’ and ‘consistent with other countries’ but clearly deemed the ‘you are far more likely to win the lottery’ part of the statement as ‘not necessary’ when informing the public, while they also kept in the part about ‘blood clots being a major cause of death’ but leaving the fact they were referring blood clots in general not blood clots linked to vaccines out. However the media now has shown real concern about gaps in public awareness in regards to the safety of vaccines and how they could have possibly been formed.

“This statistic is alarming,” said one journalist who went from mocking American ‘vaccine hesitancy’ to encouraging our own in the space of one week, “experts say the vaccine is safe. Yes, there is a chance it could kill you, but they claim it is safe. IT HAS KILLED 5 AUSSIES ALREADY, most were high risk of blood clots and that number is still dwarfed by the number of high-risk people who at worst got a something like a headache or muscle-pain. But what if those ARE JUST THE EVIL DEATH JAB TAKING IT’S TIME IN MURDERING THEM?”

“I think it’s important to point out other countries stopped their AZ rollouts like the UK,” said another journalist who keeps ‘forgetting to mention’ that it was a temporary stop and since then they have nearly completely finished a widespread rollout of the entire region, “but again I think we should be taking the vaccine. Legally speaking I would never directly recommend not taking it, but if you are hesitant that makes sense. There is a risk the jab was created by Satan himself. But personally I think all responsibility is split between the Government banning it’s use in young people and social media, those are definitely the only two culprits.”

Many media experts have announced they are excited to see the upcoming articles about the ‘real threat’ caused by other causes of death experts around the world have publicly mentioned being a far greater risk than blood clots linked to vaccines, including; blood clots caused by pregnancy, blood clots caused by the contraceptive pill, smoking, being struck by lightning multiple times over, a plane crashing directly into your house while you are inside it, Covid Fucking 19 and even specifically blood clots caused by having Fucking Covid 19!