We trained an AI on Aussie politicians, and it has already taken free flights to hang out with Rinehart and Murdoch

A major innovation in technology as ChaserAI have unveiled Cole Landlord, an AI bot trained on the disclosed and undisclosed actions of Australia’s politicians. The bot’s name came from what the politicians love most in the world.

Taking in information from politicians including the Prime Minister, Opposition Leader, both major parties, the minor parties and the independents; the moment the bot was switched on it immediately started calling in favours from billionaires to land free private jet flights, access to the Qantas Chairman’s Lounge and cocaine for the bot’s human staffers.

Using these new found connections, the bot used these upgraded flights to head straight to a private soiree with Gina Rinehart on the Murdoch family yacht, where the bot managed to develop lips in order to kiss the arses of its overlords.

When asked by journalists about these meetings, the bot denied any wrongdoing and that the meetings ever happened. Luckily for the bot, many press pack reporters couldn’t be bothered to do any journalism to fact check his claims and just ran a headline with the phrase ‘Cole says…’ instead.

The bot later clarified that the meetings might have happened, and if they did they were ‘publicly declared’ on a piece of paper that no one actually reads and therefore it is a ‘politically motivated hitjob’ to raise any eyebrows.

It went on to deflect any further criticism by pointing fingers at the Prime Minister, Opposition Leader and the leader of the Greens, while they were all having drinks together in the Chairman’s Lounge avoiding the peasants in the regular Qantas lounge.

While an AI experiment of this scale has been majorly detrimental to the environment, since the bot was called ‘Cole’, the damage has been offset by huge financial investment from both major parties.

Tech experts hope this bot could soon revolutionise Parliament House, making corruption far more efficient as currently Australian politicians are some of the highest paid politicians in the world, whereas a bot can make dodgy deals for free.

However in order to fully replace human politicians in Canberra, the bot still needs to learn how to get black out drunk before voting, turn a blind eye to sexual harassment and develop a level of inhumanity towards refugees that robots are unable to possess yet.

Editorial disclaimer: Some of the deals made behind closed doors have led to calls for a NACC investigation into Cole, but following some drinks the bot had with the anti-corruption commissioner inside the Qantas Chairman’s Lounge, the NACC has coincidentally decided not to investigate.

If you want to live like a politician yourself, or gift your family the chance to, you can now purchase a ticket to the Qantarse Chairman’s Lounge for the price of a Christmas Card, on sale now at ChaserShop.com