Tragedy Strikes: Hungover Albo can’t remember where he left his Medicare card

A disheveled but newly reelected Anthony Albanese has awoken from his election bliss to a personal tragedy. The Labor leader was heard asking Bar Italia patrons this morning if they had seen his medicare card.

The card, which was last seen on stage at Canterbury-Hurlstone RSL club, is understood to be the Prime Minister’s prized possession.

“It started getting passed around in the celebrations last night” said one Labor staffer exclusively to The Chaser, “everyone wanted to hold the card of the hour.”

When asked if someone could have sequestered the card during the chaos for cutting white substances in the club’s bathrooms, the staffer declined to comment.

“I’m not sure why he’s still using his own card,” said one RSL bartender, “You’d think he’d have had a prop made up by this point”

When asked by a Bar Italia patron what the card looked like, Albanese was heard shouting “this card is not Labor red, or Liberal blue, it is green and gold! It is a declaration of our national values, in our national colours”

The Australian Federal Police have announced that they have mounted a full blown investigation and will be utilising the full force of anti-terrorism laws to detain whoever is responsible. Albanese has also promised to double check his suit pockets when he gets back to Kirribilli.