Alleged Zombie Queen Elizabeth has announced that she will be cancelling her annual Christmas appearances as well as any other future events she is required to be alive at.
The Queen made the announcement through a royal spokesperson who told journalists, “No no no, she is very much alive and well. There is no need to compare this to Philip. She is definitely most certainly not dead. Her Royal Highness just can’t make it… And by that, I mean to the events, yep.”
Reports from the palace suggest that events are set to resume with the Queen just as soon as they master the technology from Weekend at Bernie’s.
However some conspiracists online are not convinced that the Queen is in fact ‘alive’ and ‘well’, with many suggesting that she may be shedding her human skin and regrowing a new one for her lizard form.