Tearful Bruce Lehrmann forced to sell Karaoke machine to pay legal fees

Probable rapist Bruce Lehrmann has shown remorse for the first ever time after his beloved karaoke machine was put up for sale in order to pay his legal costs.

“I had no idea there would be actual consequences,” said a teary eyed Lehrmann, “I was told in the prayer room that if I just push hard enough I could scare all these women into silence, no one said there would be any downside to my indifference to consent! Now how am I meant to sing I fought the law and Bruce won?”

The Karaoke machine wasn’t the only item he put up for sale, with others including a Channel 7 pass, a frequent customer card to a ‘massage’ place and a collection of empty baggies.

*UPDATE* Each item has been bought for a million dollars each by an anonymous billionaire.

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