fbpx
HOME
General News
Santa dies in War on Christmas related drone strike

Tragic scenes from the North Pole as reports that Santa Claus has died at just 1741 years old, in a ‘War on Christmas’ related drone strike.

This after the ‘Woke Brigade’ army stepped up their war efforts that previously have only existed in the heads of deranged media presenters trying to scare grandparents on Facebook.

“We have finally ‘cancelled’ Christmas once and for all,” said a general in the woke brigade army, “the happy holidays missile locked on to Santa’s hideout and wiped him out for good.”

“Santa wanted to spread Christmas joy but we must stop that, also I hear he was also union busting in the workshop meaning if the Elves did survive the blast, they would have been able to work under better conditions.”

Reports from the Murdoch press and other tabloids have suggested that the Woke Brigade have now used Santa’s magic to set up snipers to shoot anyone who says ‘Merry Christmas’, nuke any household seen reading Christmas cracker jokes and plans to put solar panels in kids’ stockings instead of good old-fashioned coal.

 

Share this story: