General News
Qantas to offer direct flights to Honolulu ahead of this year’s bushfire season

Australia’s most popular airline for wealthy executives has released a new promotion in the wake of bushfire season kicking off early – offering nonstop business class flights to Hawaii for MP’s, Senators and anyone whose leadership would be required during a state of emergency.

“As an airline, our only job is to take you, wherever you need to go. So if you need to show absolute cowardice during a completely expected natural disaster, we’ve got you covered,” said new CEO Vanessa Hudson.

The promotion includes private entry and exit from the airport, unlimited carry-on luggage (wouldn’t want to lose anything!) and complimentary large sunglasses for avoiding the press.

“We even have an option where we’ll deny vehemently on your behalf that you’ve gone on holiday so you can grab an extra few weeks at the beach!”

The move has sparked controversy, with several politicians speaking out on the insensitive nature of the deal.

“What if I’ve been barred entry from Honolulu airport for reasons we don’t have time to get into?” remarked Barnaby Joyce”

“What if I want to hide from my responsibilities in Spain or Monaco which is objectively a nicer spot, I don’t want to go anywhere Australians go.”

Labor declined to comment on the promotion but did announce another $500 million cash grant to Qantas in “the spirit of Australia”.


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