Pauline Hanson sells knitted White Hoods to raise funds for lawsuit

Breakfast TV’s favourite racist statue who wished to be a real girl, Senator Pauline Hanson has announced a new line of knitwear that her fans can buy to help fund her legal defence in the battle against Deputy Greens leader Mehreen Faruqi over Hanson’s comments demanding Faruqi ‘piss off back to Pakistan’.

“I know many of you want to support me in this fight,” Pauline wrote in the ad listing, “well now you can wear your support proudly with these custom knitted hoods from my very own collection!”

“If you love me, you’ll love these hoods. They are as warm as a cross burning!”

“You’ll be the talk of the town, stylishly fitting right in at our next meet up or anti-burqa protest. Gosh, those burqas really should be illegal, it’s scary to think about the people hiding their faces under those things.”

“The comfortable and stretchy fabric makes it perfect for everyday movement like trying to climb Uluru, storming out of Welcome to Countries or even just casually sieg heiling around the house. Buy yours today and let everyone know you vote One Nation!”