New horoscope segment becomes most trustworthy part of 7News

Panned as “embarrassing” and “lacking any proven basis in reality”, Channel 7’s editorial standards have been mocked for years.

Although now they hope to increase their trust with Aussies by adding in a horoscope section to their news broadcast.

“It’s disappointing to see them stoop so low,” said one expert, “I mean why would an astrologer want to tarnish their reputation by associating with with flimsiness of 7News.”

Viewers were relieved to see the horoscope segment, explaining that it is a few minutes where 7News can’t be racist. Although the network tell us that producers are working hard to find a way to include racism into future predictions.

In their first horoscope reading, 7News predicted a rough time for Aquarius, cocaine entering the lives of a Taurus and massages for Gemini.