Nation rush to mourn deceased Prince in hopes of scoring day off work

Australians have come out in force today to commemorate the death of beloved royal and national icon, Prince what’s his face. The death of Australia’s final knight and famed racist patriarch has mysteriously conjured a wave of mourning as the nation took to social media to pay their respects and check if they get Monday off. “I can’t believe he’s gone,” said Pat, 19, as he frantically cut onions on the street. “Why couldn’t this have happened outside of uni break, when I could have appreciated the public holiday.” As people gathered outside Admirality House for a candle light vigil, mourners pleaded that they be given enough time to process the loss of the nation’s favourite comedian. “He’s had such a big impact on my life, I’m going to miss him terribly,” stated one mourner. “I think I need Monday off to process and listen to Purple Rain.”

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