Prime Minister until the next bushfires, Scott Morrison, has hit out against the Chinese Government today, over a doctored image depicting war crimes Australian soldiers allegedly committed. “Why make light of this situation, it was an isolated event, and we’re dealing with it,” Mr Morrison said. “You can rest assured that we are seeking that the full force of the law is brought against the monster responsible for this – the whistle-blower David McBride who evily let the public know about the child killings.”
“The fake image from the Chinese government is reprehensible,” continued the PM despite the question being about the Robodebt scandal. “Our troops deserve respect. If our battler troops overseas slice the throats of children then we should not be criticizing them, we should be paying for their lawyers like true blue Aussie Kerry Stokes. God you guys are going to give war criminals a bad name.”
“The more important thing to remember here is that the way the CCP treats Muslims is disgraceful,” said the PM who currently has Muslim children locked up on an island prison. “Unlike the CCP, in this country we are open about the dark elements of our country’s past and we don’t shy away from them. Not that we’d need to, we didn’t even have slavery in this country.”
“See unlike the CCP, in Australia we own up to our mistakes and believe in the freedom of information. China tries to hide their crimes through intimidation and imprisonment. Whereas we don’t. We just push for AFP to raid journalists, whistle-blowers to be prosecuted and tried to get ASIO to treat journalists as spies and get the ability so secretly detain them for attempting to research corruption.”
“Anyway, I’ve got to go, I’m hearing reports that a teenager somewhere has posted a meme about how Australia dispossessed their native people of their lands and put them in re-education camps up until the 70s. We’ve already deployed an elite ADF team to deal with the teenager.”
If you enjoyed this article, consider becoming a contributor to the Chaser Beer Fund. For just $7 a month you can help us employ 20 more interns.