Defensive Peter Dutton says things were pretty wet in the Ivy Rooftop Pool too

Liberal leader Peter Dutton has found himself in hot water after a quick dip in Merivale owner Justin Hemmes’ Sydney hot tub on Tuesday night. The party occured while Dutton’s Queensland electorate of Dickson braces for an imminent cyclone and a tsunami of excuses.

“Look, as opposition leader it is my duty to connect with people all around the country,” said Dutton in a groggy post bender interview, “I heard some of Justin Hemmes’ favourite models were at risk of drowning and I thought it best I turn up for lifeguard duty.”

An anonymous resident of Dickson said she wasn’t surprised to hear that Mr Dutton had been out partying while they were bracing for the worst: “The only thing he has in common with our electorate are the first 4 letters.”

Dutton is not the first Liberal leader to disappear on duty, following the model set by Scott Morrison and Harold Holt. 

“As far as I am aware, Australia is a free country” said Dutton, “all these waiters turned up to work, instead of sitting on their couches like those lazy woke public servants, least I could do was accept a couple of cocktails from them.”