Boeing has put out a statement after a major whistleblower against the organisation died, with the airline claiming that the man simply forgot to put his phone on airplane mode.

“What a shame,” said a smiling Boeing executive, “gosh it’s just so devastating what happened. And to die in such a non-suspicious way. That’s why you always got to switch it to flight mode before wanting to text people leaking information.”

“I bet he also didn’t listen to the inflight safety demonstration, especially when it comes to the brace position and how it involves shutting up.”