Ben Roberts-Smith resigns from Channel 7 to spend more time with his war crimes

War Criminal and Murderer Ben Roberts-Smith has officially resigned from his job as boss of Channel 7 Queensland just one day after losing his defamation case against Fairfax media which reportedly cost Channel 7 at least $35 million, proving that absolutely nothing can get you fired from Channel 7.

“It’s time to focus on my passion,” said Roberts-Smith, “this corporate media job just doesn’t do it for me, I haven’t murdered any civilians in so long.”

“I mean it was Channel 7 news so I did get to hide the truth which was nice, but it just doesn’t come with the same buzz that you get burying evidence in the backyard you, setting a laptop on fire or threatening whistleblowers you know?”

In response to the news, a teary eyed Kerry Stokes released a statement saying, “cancel culture has taken another victim’s job.”

“We will miss him dearly, what he lacked in experience in media and journalism he more than made up for in wearing racist symbols and terrorising innocent people. He was a perfect fit for Channel 7.”

“Now who is going to replace Kochie?”