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Ben Roberts-Smith drowns sorrows with a traditional leggy

Australia’s most decorated war criminal and former host of Channel 7’s SAS, Ben Roberts-Smith has been spotted drowning his sorrows following the dismissal of his defamation action against Fairfax media over their reporting of him being a ‘murderer’ and a ‘war criminal’.

The case which was brought by Ben Roberts-Smith, with testimony from his team claiming that it’s ‘unfair’ to paint war-crimes as ‘evil’, that he crashed a car into a cliff because he became distracted by trying to shoot a stray dog and character statements by a guy who owned a Klan Hood, was an attempt by the Roberts-Smith to save his reputation.

“Life is so unfair,” he said while while sitting out by the laptop fire drinking a beer from the leg of a murdered man “what have I done to deserve any of this? Can I at least bury the ruling in a Dora lunchbox?”

“At least the world now knows thanks to the Daily Mail that I have great abs.”

However Channel 7 Boss Kerry Stokes, who funded the lawsuit, was thrilled by the result following reviews suggesting that the trial was the best TV that Channel 7 has made in decades.

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