[Edition 45] KABUL, Thursday: The first signs of US retaliation were spotted in the Afghanistan capital of Kabul this morning, when a fresh print of a new Adam Sander film was presented for widespread release.

[Edition 45] KABUL, Thursday: The first signs of US retaliation were spotted in the Afghanistan capital of Kabul this morning, when a fresh print of a new Adam Sander film was presented for widespread release.

The film, touted to be Sander’s most unfunny yet, is expected to cause considerable pain and unrest to the people of the Middle East. A special military stealth screening has been planned for the country’s ruling Taliban, who are believed to be harbouring the mastermind terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

It’s expected the movie will screen as part of a lethal and merciless double-bill with a new Robin Williams comedy, in which the actor plays an enchanted, eccentric misfit who just wants to love.

A spokesman for the Taliban has described the US counter-attack as “completely disproportionate” to the initial attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon buildings. “These films are badly written, and mawkishly acted – it’s clear that America means war,” he said.