Alan Jones joins Trump cabinet

Shocking news as race riot enthusiast Alan Jones has been announced as the latest appointee to the US cabinet under Donald Trump.

This comes shortly after the disgraced teacher, turned disgraced rugby coach, turned disgrace radio host, turned disgraced tv host, turned disgraced Youtube vlogger was arrested over multiple allegations of indecent assault.

“We are excited to see what he can do for this nation,” said Trump, “at first there was the racism, conspiracy theories and violent misogyny, but he really clinched the deal with this arrest. Now he will fit right in. If anything he is over-qualified.”

“Plus, we hope that Jones will help us strengthen our diplomatic ties to Australia, considering how much the Aussie media and their politicians have kissed his ass over the years.”

Reportedly Jones will take on a role as Press Secretary, where he is predicted to work closely with future AG Matt Gaetz as they both bond over their passion for writing ‘love letters’ to school students.